I've been looking for a good human ashtray slave. One who knows that a good ashtray is seen and not heard. One that is attentive first and foremost to my needs and my needs alone. Never once asking for anything more than he or she is given - my smoke...

Do you have what it takes to be my human ashtray? Will you wait patiently as I drag on one cigarette after the other, anticipating my every exhalation, training yourself to breathe at exactly the same speed that I do. Just so you can take in another gorgeous drag of smoke from my ruby red lips?

I need a good human ashtray slave. I hope it can be you....